I’m Still The Boss

Mother is busy with those stupid beasts, doing who knows what, so I am taking the opportunity to enlighten you more about the wonderfulness of me. There is so much to say….where do I start?

I am nearly 20 years old, and I have to say that I only get better with age. Mother is practically neurotic about grooming me, but really, I think she has lost her mind. Who cares if my fur is perfect? I am perfect, and that is all that matters. I think perhaps Mother has some “issues” she needs to work out.

Father continues to worship me, as is my due. He sometimes tries to put that stupid “zapper” thing on me when he thinks I am sleeping but I just move around until it falls off. I mean really! They are always trying to do something to me with a comb or a zapper or some stupid vitamin. I will let them know when I want a dumb vitamin and then they may serve me. I cannot believe how long it has taken me to train these two.

They became all concerned the other day because I vomited a few times…who cares? I have the right to vomit if I want and it is none of their business. So what if the big stereo speaker was ruined? If they are so concerned about it they should not leave it next to the warm fireplace like that. I am much more important than some stupid stereo equipment. They spend too much time listening to that stupid music anyway. I hate that stupid jazz and that dumb Jimi Hendrix person. What did he ever do that was so special?

I almost nailed that hairy, smelly beast Sammy when I vomited. That was almost worth the discomfort! Mother and Father have spent the last few days fussing over him for some dumb reason, but I think he was faking it the whole time. He is not always as dumb as he looks.

Well, I hear Mother coming back into the house with those dumb dogs, so I better go pretend I am sleeping on top of the stereo cabinet. If I stay up there long enough, Mother will airlift me at bedtime to the cozy bedroom upstairs. She is so easy to manipulate!

~ Boots



If it’s not one thing…

There’s just no end to the drama with Sammy! Today he got out of bed, went outside to pee then came back in and was shaking and looking like he was going to throw up. We immediately put the zapper on him, which is our first line of defense with our dogs. If you haven’t checked out the zapper link, do so. We have averted many disasters, human and animal, with this simple and effective technology.

The zapper got him calmed down a bit and I was able to get him to lie down on his bed. I kept the zapper on him and ran my hand down his back to calm him down and get his energy running again. After about an hour I remembered that I had some charcoal biscuits from when the stray dogs visited, so I gave him a few. He ate them eagerly, so I figured he couldn’t be too bad off.

It’s hard to know what’s going on in a situation like this. Our dogs have a very clean diet and there’s not much in the way of vegetation in our back yard that can cause trouble. When we moved here there was a deadly nightshade plant growing under and through our back deck. I didn’t know it was poisonous until our dog Charlie became sick one day and had pink foam dripping out of his mouth. I discovered the red berries out back, looked up the plant and found it was highly poisonous. I have since ripped it out by roots, but it’s stubborn and grows back. I pulled more vines this summer, but it’s possible I missed a few and that Sammy found some dried berries. The dried berries are even more toxic than the ripe berries!

The other thought was that he ate some pine bark and toxified himself that way. Yesterday afternoon he had bumps (hives) on the top of his head, which happens once in a while. We haven’t been able to figure out what he is getting into that causes this. We got rid of all his synthetic Kong toys and I have scoured the back yard several times looking for anything that could be upsetting his system. No luck. However, pine bark has a lot of a turpentine-like chemical in it, so it’s possible he’s just reached his limit. That boy does love to chew on his sticks!

So anyway, after I gave him the charcoal biscuits he perked up quite a bit. Charcoal is a natural detoxer as it absorbs toxins, so it’s always a good idea to have some on hand. In an emergency you can burn some toast and give that to your dog. After a few more hours we went outside and Sammy was running around like normal and pooped a lot. Success!

Sammy’s like that kid who’s a magnet for trouble. Before he was six months old I had aleady called the emergency vet three or four times. Once because he had a foxtail in his ear which had to be extracted, once because he ate a package of meat with the plastic still on it, etc. He’s been a challenge from the start. He’s the one who got hit by the car, eats anything he can find, gets sharp objects stuck in his toes, and is Trouble in general. We love him like crazy but we do have to keep a close eye on him!