How you know it’s spring in Montana:

1. The deer poop thaws out enough for the dogs to eat it.

2. The driveway is no longer an Olympic luge training course.

3. The spiders begin their spring rappelling training above your pillow.

4. You can wash your car without freezing the doors shut.

5. You re-discover your lawn. It’s green.

6. The cat commences midnight strafing runs under your bed.

7. The garage is no longer your temporary meat locker.

8. One day it’s 65 degrees, the next day it’s snowing.

9. You see moths the size of hummingbirds. In your bathroom.

10. White skin. All over the place.